All you need is love. Love and a car

People do walking tours of America. Did you know that? People literally walk from coast to coast. I guess they do endurance training for months before they leave and have camping gear strapped to their backs for the nights they don't end up near a town. One guy walked from L.A. to Boston to "discover America." Apparently he actually made it. Then a couple walked from Oregon to New Hampshire in order to prove that Ron Paul was awesome. They made it too, though mysteriously Ron Paul still lost the election. People who walk from coast to coast are hardcore.

By contrast, I can jog a mile, but I am pretty badly winded afterwards and have to sit down. Therefore, I will need a car.

Now yes, on some level it is tempting to get a pimpmobile, but red 'vettes are really more suited for making love than for studying it. So what I need is something inexpensive but reliable, something that can drive ten thousand miles without breaking down, something with good gas mileage -- but at the same time, something that looks, feels, and sounds like a car you make a trans-American journey in.

Take the Honda Fit. The Fit is cheap, foreign, and gets 30 mpg. Nice. But it is called the Honda Fit. The Honda Fit, guys. "Hi, I'm driving across America collecting love stories, and I was wondering if you would --" "What kind of car you drive?" "A, um, a Honda Fit." "Good luck."

If you picked ten words at random out of the dictionary, nine of them would be better names for cars than the Fit. The Honda Mantis. The Honda Wake. Fuck, I'd take the Honda Scooter over the Honda Fit. They should let me name cars.

Now take the Nissan Versa. That's a name you can get behind. Vaguely combative but at the same time suggests poetry. Looks pretty nice, too. But it's sort of small and I'm six foot two. I am going to be spending a lot of time in this car.

I had a friend suggest the Volkswagen Jetta. Apparently they make them with diesel engines, which means my mpg would be off the charts good. I don't know how that impacts the price of the car, though; tutoring for three years has left me with a bank account, but not enough of one to blow all of it on a car, and I would like to buy or lease new to be sure of reliability.

Fortunately, I'm not leaving soon and have plenty of time to tour car lots and figure out what's what. Anyone have any success stories -- or cautionary tales -- to share?