Didn't I say antihero?

I had the day off from work today, and mostly spent it worrying about when I'd have Internet access again. The Net went down as we were trying to upgrade our wireless network, in accordance with one of Munroe's Laws. I wasn't any help in fixing the problem, so I was told to sod off for a while and do something else. Unfortunately, I am so codependent on the Internet that when it goes away I am paralyzed until it comes back again. I can try to read or write but it doesn't really work. Knowing that I couldn't use the Internet if I wanted to, even if I don't want to, keeps me from focusing on anything else. As I write this the Internet is "up," but moving so slowly I'm pretty sure I can actually see the ones and zeroes, making just about any website that contains, say, a jpeg, unusable. As I write this it's down again. And as I write this, a couple of hours later, it's up and seems to be working okay, but we're still tinkering. Tinkering is dangerous.

I often wonder if there's some grand unifying principle behind all my little neuroses, about people and Internet outages and the future. Uncertainty has a lot to do with it. If I had a working Magic 8 Ball, one that actually told the future, I would abuse the hell out of it. I'd ask questions like "will things be all right if I go out to dinner?" and "if I stay in bed till two will I regret it later?" Eventually it would get so fed up with me it would just answer "better not tell you now" to every question. For the record, I didn't want to upgrade our network. Something like this always happens. I'm so frustration-averse that I would rather have a working network now and forever than a likely-better network after a few hours (or maybe days) of stewing. My frustration intolerance is the biggest threat to Lover's Lanes, and sadly that's all I have to say about the project tonight.